Friday, February 17, 2017

People welcome corpse as leader

People of a troubled African nation have welcomed news that they may soon have a corpse as a leader, saying they believed it may do a better job of running the country.

At a rally, the country's most successful typist, also known as the First Secretary, announced to a crowd that: "When he dies, his corpse will take over. That’s how popular he is."

Political analysts said this statement of saying the corpse would be as popular as the current leader was a major understatement. “It’s an understatement,” said one analyst, stating the fucking obvious. “Actually, the corpse will in fact be more popular. Seeing it will bring much joy to many.”

However, some were hugely surprised to hear they will vote for a corpse, as they were unaware that their leader was still alive all along.

"I am hugely surprised,” said one man, expressing huge surprise. “I was unaware that he was still alive all along.  Looking at the beloved country, there is nothing to show that it is actually led by anyone.”

Even the People From All Walks of Life, a shadowy group that appears every night on ZBC to hail any BS that comes out of the backsides of the country's gallant leadership, welcomed the news of a new leader, even a dead one.

“How worse can a corpse be?” said a senior member from People From All Walks of Life, asking nobody in particular.